Opinion: St. Vincent called out John Mayer's 'Daughters' for hidden misogyny

St. Vincent didn't hold back when discussing her disdain for John Mayer’s 2003 hit song, "Daughters." In an interview with Kerrang!, she labeled the track as both outdated and misogynistic. When asked to name the "worst song ever written," she pointed to "Daughters," describing it as a song that pretends to be a love ballad but is, according to St. Vincent, steeped in sexist ideas.

"It’s so deeply misogynistic, which would be fine if you owned that," she said, "but it pretends like it’s sweet." Mayer’s "Daughters" is framed as a reflective acoustic tune, with Mayer offering advice to fathers about raising their daughters. The lyrics suggest that if fathers neglect their daughters emotionally (or, presumably, if they are otherwise abusive), it will cause problems in their future romantic relationships.

Mayer ostensibly draws from his own romantic experiences, opening with the lines, "Just like a maze, where all of the walls all continually change."

In the bridge, he further emphasizes, "On behalf of every man/ Looking out for every girl/ You are the God and the weight of her world/ So fathers be good to your daughters…" This approach, however, seemingly oversimplifies the complex dynamics of women’s emotional lives, placing too much responsibility on male parental figures to shape their daughters’ futures in the context of male relationships, and also making it seem as if relationship problems are solely rooted in female emotionality.

Does St. Vincent's critique of John Mayer hold up?

"Daughters" earned Mayer widespread acclaim, winning Song of the Year at the 2005 Grammy Awards. However, the song’s message has sparked criticism over the years for its reductive portrayal of women and gender roles, which is at the heart of St. Vincent’s critique. Her frustration with the song stems from its masking of harmful ideas under the guise of a loving message, rather than openly acknowledging its retrograde sentiments that women have relationship problems mostly because of their dads (or whatever he's saying).

(Speaking for myself, I just find the song boring, even if I wouldn't say it's the worst ever written, or anything so dramatic. I'll go on record saying the worst song ever is "The Shape of You" by Ed Sheeran, with anything by Kid Rock as a close contender — and to prove that politics aren't my sole guide here, I'll even suggest that Ted Nugent's worst song is better than Kid Rock's best! But anyway, it's almost like Sheeran heard "Daughters" and was like, "You think that's an intentionally generic pop song? Hold my beer!")

More context on her comments

St. Vincent’s strong opinion on "Daughters" came during Kerrang!’s "10 Songs That Changed My Life" feature, where she highlighted songs that influenced her, such as those by Sonic Youth, Steely Dan, and Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds. Her candidness about music isn't limited to Mayer’s song; earlier this year, she also expressed frustration with overplayed covers of Leonard Cohen’s "Hallelujah," calling them "the worst thing in the world."

Of course, everyone's a critic, and Leonard Cohen himself had interesting critiques of the critics, noting: "Most music criticism is in the nineteenth century. It’s so far behind, say, the criticism of painting. It’s still based on nineteenth century art – cows beside a stream and trees and ‘I know what I like.’ There’s no concession to the fact that Dylan might be a more sophisticated singer than Whitney Houston, that he’s probably the most sophisticated singer we’ve had in a generation...Nobody is identifying out popular singers like a Matisse or Picasso. Dylan’s a Picasso — that exuberance, range, and assimilation of the whole history of music."

Who is St. Vincent (for those who don't know)?

Born Annie Clark, St. Vincent has made a name for herself as an innovative and versatile artist, often blending elements of rock, pop, and experimental music. She also co-wrote Taylor Swift's hit song "Cruel Summer." Her work has garnered critical acclaim for its boldness, and she is known for her insightful, sometimes biting, commentary on the music industry and societal norms.

St. Vincent’s latest release, All Born Screaming (2024), continues to push musical boundaries, demonstrating her ever-evolving sound and vision.

John Mayer, meanwhile, rose to fame in the early 2000s with his introspective lyrics and guitar-driven sound. His debut album, Room for Squares (2001), featured hits like "No Such Thing" and "Your Body Is a Wonderland" and he established his place in the (in my view) intentionally generic pop-rock scene, and once was fresh in the sense that all music was once technically sort of new.

Mayer’s songwriting often revolves around personal relationships and emotional struggles, but tracks like "Daughters" have faced ongoing scrutiny for their allegedly dated views on gender roles, despite their commercial success. That being said, I would argue that Mayer's song is not quite as offensive as St. Vincent suggests, and I would just critique it mostly because it sounds intended to lull babies to sleep.